Shuey’s Life

The last few months around here have been stressful to say the least.  It’s more than just time consuming when you have a baby that is considered “high needs”.  It will totally wear you down.

When I say high needs I’m referring to the baby that has to have your attention more than most.  The doctor warned us that our daughter would probably be this type of baby because she was 5 weeks premature.  She lost that extra month of time inside Mommy’s womb where she was snug and secure, so she needs extra attention to feel that same security.

Some days are better than others, but for the most part she needs my attention 24/7.  The only time I get a few minutes to do anything at all is when she is sleeping.  Hubby can’t take her for a few minutes while I shower, cook dinner, or anything of the sort without her crying constantly until I’m back to take over again.  Some days she will gladly play for 15-20 minutes in her bouncer, swing, or jumper, but other days she can’t leave my lap without crying.

Thank goodness my husband understands, and if our marriage wasn’t rock solid before the baby I really don’t think we could handle this.  It’s definitely taking a toll on both of us.  He feels horrible because he can’t do anything to help, and I feel horrible because I feel like he’s not getting to do the things with his daughter that he would like.

People who haven’t dealt with this kind of baby will try to tell me “Oh you just need to put her down and let her scream.”  “You’re spoiling her.” or “You just don’t know how to handle her.”  Every single time I hear something like that it totally pisses me off.  I DO know how to handle my daughter, and that’s exactly why she’s NOT screaming her head off every minute of the day.  If I put her down and let her scream she does just that…for hours…until someone finally picks her up again.

It’s very reassuring to talk to my doctor because she had a preemie baby with the exact same needs.  She reassures us that we’re doing everything we can do, and she’ll eventually grow out of it.  Now if I could just get our family and friends to understand as well.

I feel like a crap mom as it is when I hear her screaming because I absolutely have to leave the room or put her down for a few minutes, and I don’t need others trying to tell me I’m doing things wrong.  It really upset me last night to find out that my MIL thought I was just being a drama queen about the situation, exaggerating how bad it can be sometimes.   She’s heard me say I’m totally exhausted because the baby was up all night crying until I finally gave in and put her in bed with me, I can’t put her down for a minute, and all that, and she also believed we were just “doing things wrong” and “haven’t learned to handle it”.

Last night she offered to take our daughter for a couple hours so Hubby and I could go to dinner, do a little shopping, and just have a bit of alone time together.  We didn’t stay out long at all.  We ran to Walmart, spent about 45 minutes at dinner, and we headed back to pick her up.  When we walked in the door our daughter was screaming to the top of her lungs.  My frazzled MIL said she’d been crying inconsolably from the moment we left.  Hubby tried to take her, but my daughter kept screaming.  I sat down with her, and within minutes she was calm again.

That’s when I heard those words I’ve been longing for.  My MIL looked at me and said “I thought you were exaggerating, but I see this is how it really is.  I don’t know how you do it.”  Somehow those words completely changed the way I’ve been feeling about myself.

Last month I read an article Rethinking Fussy Babies, and it described my daughter and the way I feel perfectly.  It also sounded just like what our doctor told us we could expect with our child, and it was reassuring to know I’m not alone out there nor am I spoiling my daughter.

I’m not a horrible mother.  I’m doing everything I possibly can for my daughter, and I’m fulfilling her needs in every way possible no matter how much it has taken out of me.  One day I’ll look back on these times, and I’ll wish my little girl was still clinging to me every minute of the day.

I just wanted to pop in to say Happy New Year and Happy New Decade!  I hope everyone has a great year.  We’re very blessed to be starting this decade out with our little one, and I’m expecting this to be a good year!

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Bidazzled. All opinions are 100% mine.

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I so feel like I’m going to fall over right now, but I can’t.  I’ve got a fussy baby on my hands…one who a couple weeks ago decided she doesn’t like to sleep before 2am.  She slept almost all day the last few days, and I think it’s because she wanted to sleep through all the holiday festivities.  Unfortunately now she won’t sleep at night.

And did I mention she doesn’t want to sleep in her own bed anymore?  She’s got this idea in her head that she’s supposed to sleep on Mommy and Daddy’s bed.  She doesn’t care about having us in bed with her…she just wants to be on our mattress when she’s sleeping.

Of course unless we plan on co-sleeping that just can’t happen.  At first I said we’d never ever ever co-sleep, but it’s amazing how your mind can change when you’ve been awake almost a full 2 weeks!  Sometimes you’ll do whatever it takes to grab that precious 2 hours of sleep that make you feel so refreshed you’d swear you slept a decade.

Unfortunately I don’t see myself getting any sleep tonight because little one just isn’t cooperating…even in bed with me.

That one word sums up the holidays for us this year. I swear this has been the most hectic holiday season I’ve ever experienced. There has been so much going on, and we’ve been running back and forth and back and forth until I feel like my head is going to explode.

I keep asking myself wtf happened to Christmas. It’s officially over in 20 minutes, and I don’t feel like it should have even begun yet. I don’t know where it went! What I do know is somehow during all the commotion I apparently missed it.