Shuey’s Life

It has been so long since I wrote in my LJ that I couldn’t even remember my login info…thus i’m starting over. I guess I stopped writing in it b/c i only used it when i needed to rant. For awhile everything was fine and I had no reason to rant, but that’s changed, so here we go again.

My sister is a bitch.

No matter how you say it, it’s always going to be true. You can sugar coat it and call her selfish, but she’s always going to be an immature bitch. She’s always had these bad temper spells that seem to come and go, but lately the bitch spells have turned into her new way of life.

There have been points in my life when my sister was my best friend, but there have been many more times when I refused to have anything to do with her at all. You may think I sound like a bad person for it, but if you were in the same situation, you would most likely do the same thing I have done. She’s always been spoiled. I admit, I’m a daddy’s girl, but not to the extreme where if I don’t get my way, i run to my daddy crying until he fixes it. I’m an adult, and I don’t participate in spoiled childish acts like that. As for my sister, she’s 20, and she’s a spoiled rotten mama’s girl. My mother has ALWAYS spoiled her to a point where it’s sickening. Like I said, she’s 20. Does she act 20? No. She’s more like a 20 year old body with a 12 year old mentality.

It all began years ago. When I became old enough to go out with my friends and date, my sister couldn’t stand it. Being 3 years younger than me, and not yet allowed to go out, she hated it. She would purposely try to sabatoge my friendships. My friends would call and she would refuse to let them talk to me. She even went so far as to tell my best friend all this horrible stuff that i supposedly said about her behind her back. Now anyone who truly knows me knows I’m not that kind of person.

If i have anything to say about anybody, i’m going to bottle it up inside. Yes, one day I will eventually snap and let it all out, but I don’t go behind your back saying bad things about you. If I have anything to say behind your back, i’ll say it to your face just as well. With that being said, I lost many friendships due to the way she acted and the things she said. I never blamed her. Hell i didn’t even know what was going on. It wasn’t until years later that she told me what she had done….but that’s a completely different story.

As a teenager, i was never the wild rebellious type. I always did what my parents asked, and i had a good head on my shoulders. I had my head stuck in my books with the hopes of a great scholarship for college. My sister on the other hand, was the rebellious wild child. She would sneak out at night, get drunk with random friends, tried drugs, lost her virginity at a young age…all that good stuff. If my parents caught her doing anything or found any substance in her room, she always used the same story. “Jennifer made me do it.” or “that’s Jenn’s. She must have hid it in here.” Of course my father never believed her, but my mother on the other hand believed she could do no wrong.

Pretty soon it led to our punishments for wrongdoings being defined in completely different ways. For example, I remember when i was 17, coming home 30 minutes past curfew one night b/c my friend’s car broke down. All hell broke loose. My mother screamed until she lost her voice, then grounded me for 6 months. I wasn’t allowed to leave the house except for school and church, no tv, no phone, no computer. I paid my 6 months debt for the crime I didn’t commit, and held my tongue.

As for my sister, I remember a weekend when she was only 15. She lied to my parents about where she was going…pretending to spend the night at a friends house, but instead she went camping with a group of older boys. They got drunk, loud, and the cops were called out. My mother had to drive 30 min at 4am to pick her up from a small campground in the middle of no where. Her punishment- she was supposedly grounded for a week, but i don’t think you can call it grounding if you just tell her she is, but let her do everything she normally does. 2 days later she was stumbling in the house drunk again, and my mother let her get away with it. This is how things were until the day i said i couldn’t take it anymore, and I moved out.

Of course when i moved out, i was very careful to keep most of the details hidden from my mother. By this time, my parents were separated, and my mother had driven herself 10x more crazy than she already was. I moved in with Ben, but didn’t tell my mother. I was raised in a very strict Christian home, and living with someone before marriage was a cause for family disownment.

As for my father, I didn’t care if he knew. I’d known for awhile that he was living with his new girlfriend on and off. My father has a good head on his shoulders, and he doesn’t judge me. He lets me learn from my own mistakes, and supports me no matter what I do. My mother just screams and threatens to disown me.

Anywho, so I moved in with Ben and everything had settled down. No more daily crying sessions over the abuse (yet another story you’d have to read in my old journal…I’ll link it later), and no more living with two crazy people. My life was going well. After I moved out, my relationship with my sister improved. I was now 21, and she was 18. I thought she had grown up a little, and we’d started connecting on a level we had never reached before. I actually developed trust in her.

A few months went by and I began to open up and confide in her. I gained enough trust to tell her that i was in fact living with Ben. Before all she knew was that i had gotten an apartment with Ben’s older sister, which was partly true. We all three lived there. After i explained to her that ben was living with us too, i finally started inviting her over on the weekends. Things were fine for a little while, then all the bad started up again. I had no problem with her staying with me, but she started to act like a selfish little bitch again.

She would come over friday, stay til sunday, and do nothing but lay on the couch watching tv. If she was hungry, she’d scream at me that i needed to fix her something to eat. She was too lazy to get off the couch and do it for herself. I would of course tell her to get off her ass and do it herself, i wasn’t her maid. That’s when she started trying to blackmail me. If things didn’t go exactly her way, she would run to my mother and tell her some juicy bit of info about something I was doing that was totally against her perfect christian views.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a christian, but I don’t always believe the same things my mother does. I grew up in a very strict Church of God household, but some of the things we’re taught make me want to explore other demoninations. When I say strict I mean i was taught girls may not wear makeup, only dresses allowed in church, girls may not swim with boys because it leads to sexual perversion, no alcohol whatsoever, tv wasn’t supposed to be allowed, computers are the devil, we were even taught we weren’t allowed to go to the movie theater b/c most movies were bad.

Anyway, I got fed up with the way my sis was acting again very quickly. I told her I didn’t want her to come back to my apartment until she learned to grow up. I exploded on her, and told her Ben’s 8 year old devil child sister acted more mature than she did. Yeah, so I stooped to her level….i shouldn’t have, but i finally got my point across that i didn’t want to have anything to do with her if she continued to act this way. After I calmed down and started to think rationally i decided she was only acting this way because of her age.

I figured hey, she’s 18, she’s immature, she’ll eventually grow up. Boy was I wrong. In the past 2 years thing have only gotten worse. I try my best to love my sister with all my heart, but she makes it very difficult. My mother still spoils her daily, buying her anything she wants, even though my mother has a very low paying job at a daycare. Recently she got her first job…yeah 20 and her first job, that’s only b/c my mother wouldn’t let her work. She spoiled her and kept her living in this fantasy world where everyone waited on her hand and foot for the rest of her life. Now that she has a job, she does nothing but blow her money on clothes. She screams at you if you mention her bills. She tries to tell everyone she’s extremely mature, yet she can’t even pay my father $60 a month for her car insurance which he’s about to cancel.

Yesterday she went into mega bitch mode again.

She has this boyfriend, James, who she’s been with for two years now. James is also one of Ben’s best friends. My sister met him at my wedding. She treats him like shit. If he doesn’t do exactly what she wants to do when she wants to do it, she screams at him. She’s chased away almost all of his friends, and doesn’t want him to see the ones that are still around. She believes if he’s not at work, he should be with her. She acts so childish, and he’s fed up with it. He’s actually trying to come up with a reason why he shouldn’t ditch her. I told him its inevitable that they’re going to split up, so he should just go ahead and do it. I only say this b/c they do nothing but argue….constantly. If they walk in my house, it’s a sure bet she will start screaming at him the second he sits down on the couch.

Anywho…. she started it all again yesterday.

We were up at the pasture helping my dad get up hay. Yes, i was raised on a farm and I love every minute of it, and if my dad needs help with something, i’m going to be there. When i showed up, my sis was driving the truck, and ben and james were loading it. We have this cycle. Normally i’m driving the truck, pulling the trailer, and they load. This way we can follow right behind the tractor as it’s bailed, and we’ll get up all the hay in record speed, but not yesterday. With my sis driving, the tractor was running laps around the truck, figuratively speaking.

I only showed up to help because she was taking her sweet ass time, and the hay had to be got up before it started to rain. Once hay is bailed, if it gets wet you’re most likely gonna lose it. You’ll either have to cut the bails open, spread it all back out, and try to get it to dry so you can rebail it, or you’ll have to chock it up to the ruined pile because it gets moldy.

Anyway, when i showed up she was in bitch mode. She wouldn’t listen to the guys when they’d tell her to pull up, and she wouldn’t drive the direction she needed to go. She acted more like she was playing than working, and we were on a deadline. I had just checked the weather map and we had about an hour before the rain rolled in. James told her she needed to speed up, but of course she couldn’t hear him…she had the radio blasting. This made the guys ill because they couldn’t give her directions and she was purposely ignoring them. I hopped up in the truck with her and turned the radio down to try to at least relay messages if i couldn’t tell her what to do. That’s when things got worse.

I told her she needed to swing the truck around wide to the right to circle around to pick up the hay at the top of the field. Of course she had to be stubborn, so she screamed at me that she knew what she was doing, and swung to the left instead. This was a bad mistake b/c here she was in a dodge ram 2500 longbed with a trailer attached, and she had maybe 10 feet between her and the fence line. She swore up and down she was gonna make it and kept turning until she finally smacked into the fence, creating the first huge scratch on my dad’s brand new WHITE truck. Of course i was extremely pissed.

Ben ran over and asked what happened and all she was was “no big deal….daddy will pay for it.” This totally pissed me off even more. Ben told her to back the truck up slowly, and to be careful not to jackknife it. She threw the truck in reverse and floored it. We were all screaming at her, and when she came to a stop, the trailer full of hay was already half on it’s side. She started screaming that everyone just needed to leave her alone. I calmly told her if she couldn’t get it outa the mess to let me do it. So she screamed at me to fix it. I jumped outa the passenger side and walked around to take the driver’s seat, but then she refused to move. I just walked away. James ran up to help her, but she refused to let him fix it. He finally had to crawl up on the sideboard, and drive her backwards steering through the window until he had her outa her mess.

We figured okay, it’s over, lets get back to work. So the boys went back to trying to get the hay up, and i jumped in the back of the truck. James started walking towards her with a bail, and ben ran down to the next few that were about 50 ft away. Suddenly she shut off the truck, started crying and said she wasn’t helping anymore. Ben was like fine, get outa the truck then, we gotta get this hay up. She refused to move. She put on her hissy fit face, rolled the windows up and locked the doors. I jumped in my truck and drove down to where my dad had started to bail on the 2nd field. I told him what was going on, which pissed him off bigger than shit.

Ben and James walked down and we waited for her to drive the truck down so we could start loading the next. Remember….we were trying to beat the rain here. It took her 20 minutes to drive down there, so as soon as she got there my dad told her to get outa the truck and let me drive if she were going to act like a lil baby. That pissed her off again, and she refused. Daddy got so pissed he jumped in the truck, forcing her to the passenger seat, and decided to take that load and drop it off. While we unloaded all the hay into the barn, she sat in the truck pouting, refusing to talk to anyone. I figured just leave her alone for a lil while, she’ll calm down and it’ll all be okay. We were almost finished unloading the trailer when it started to drizzle.

Seeing as how i explained earlier what rain does to hay, this wasn’t good. We threw the rest of the hay in the barn and took off to get the rest. Daddy plainly told my sis she had 2 choices. 1. she could do what the boys told her and get up the hay as quickly as possible or 2. she could get outa the truck and let me drive. She pitched another hissy fit and said no way in hell was she gonna give up the truck. She wanted to drive….so i thought okay she’s being a baby….just ignore her and let her do it. After we drove back down to the 2nd field, i jumped in the back of daddy’s truck. Ben wanted me there to relay messages to her through the back glass. About the time they started loading the drizzle turned over to a light rain.

We knew this gave us about 20 minutes to get up all the hay before the heavy stuff hit, so we took off, all three of us throwing bails on the trailer. Of course my sis was taking her own sweet time creeping through the pasture, then suddenly she came to a complete stop. James ran up to the window and asked what she was doing. She yelled at him that he didn’t love her anymore and he was being mean to her. Oh boy, another hissy fit from the queen brat. This isn’t unusual, we hear those lines 3 or 4 times a day. If anything upsets her in the smallest way at all, she screams that he doesn’t love her and starts crying. I swear, she’s mental.

Anyway, James told her she needed to get moving, we were already getting rained on….so what does she do? She shuts off the truck and refuses to drive. This pissed James, Ben, and daddy off to the point where they all started yelling at her. Daddy yelled at her to get outa the damn truck, then he yelled at me to drive. She didn’t give a shit. She didn’t care if we lost 250 bails of hay which is equal to about $1000 worth of hay. She finally jumped outa the truck and i took over.

In her hissy fit mode, she ran to her bronco II, and started driving around the pasture. I thought hell, at least she’s outa the way. So I continued to help the boys, and we barely got the hay up before the rain started, then scrambled the throw the tarp over it. My sister came flying up the road and just about hit my truck, jumped out and started screaming that somebody had to buy her some gas cuz she wasn’t gonna make it home. I was thinking wtf did you just drive all over the freaking pasture for if you knew u were low on gas, dumbass. She started arguing with my dad and i couldn’t take it anymore. We finished tieing on the tarp and left. We went by my dad’s house later last night, and when i asked what her problem is, he just shook his head and threw his arms up in the air. I dont know wtf to do with her anymore.